Adventures, Life and Questions

Dear Readers,
I didn’t post on Thursday because of things I had to get done. And then, on Friday, the family dog died. And I really didn’t feel like writing a blog post then. Our dog was 16 years old, which is really old for a Golden Retriever, and I knew it would happen sometime but I was still really sad. Now I can write. Updates on the story are that I’m kind of having concentration problems. And I wanna work on it but I keep getting distracted. I should probably try and just do it. But it’s not that easy. Or maybe it is and I should just get my stuff together. In two days I’m leaving for a trip to Germany. First I’ll go to a family feast and hopefully see loads of cousins and stuff. Then I’ll go to Hamburg. Visiting Ballinstadt, the Museum of Emigration in Hamburg. Hopefully, I’ll see a little more of the city than that. I wanna take pictures and maybe do a post on it. I’m not sure yet. We’ll see. My mind is kind of blank right now. Not a lot has changed since the last post. I’m still having Wanderlust and it’s getting stronger every day. I hear of all these people that are travelling, having the time of their lives and exploring the world. And I want that too. I just don’t have the time or money. I’d have to get a job first. That’s not foreseeable any time soon. Because I haven’t even finished high school yet. And that binds me to this place. I love living in Switzerland, don’t get me wrong. It’s beautiful and I feel privileged to live here. I just wanna see other places. Cultures of other countries fascinate me. It seems like there’s this whole world out there, waiting to be explored. Yet I’m staying at the place I’ve known my whole life. But I guess if it’s waiting now, it’ll still be there waiting in a year or two. The only thing I need is patience. And the power to dream on. Living in a world full of people who tell you, dreams are nothing more than childish thoughts in one’s head. I believe we are destined to have dreams and follow them. Well most of them anyways. They still have to be reasonable to some extent. For example, another one of my dreams is getting my drivers license. Which would be pretty achievable. The only thing stopping me from doing so is, that I’m scared I won’t be able to drive because of my dyspraxia. You probably don’t know what that is so I’ll give you a short version. It’s basically that my motor skills suck, fine and gross motor skills. It’s also being able to focus on more than one task at a time that’s really hard. And it also takes longer to learn things. It’s not impossible it just takes more time. For example, when I was a little kid I didn’t have the reflex to put my arms in front of me when I fell down. So I always fell right on my face. But I learned it with determination and after some time I managed to do it. The same with tagging eggs. I used to do the movement out of my elbow and not like one should out the wrist. So I’d basically smash them. Now I can do it because I worked for it. Thing is, those are basic things. If I wanted to drive a car I’d have to focus on so many things at the same time and I can’t even do it when I’m not driving a car. Especially the movement of steering because it requires a lot of movement control. Which I certainly don’t have. At least not yet. But I’ve done quite some research and I’ve seen that it’s possible to drive a car with dyspraxia, it just takes a lot longer. And I’d have to have the determination. Which I would possibly have. Hopefully. Maybe I’m going to do it next year. Many of my friends have done it. And I can too, even if it would probably be an automatic car. I should embrace this possibility. I really should. And I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help if needed. But sometimes it makes me feel frustrated because there are some things others can do easily and I just need more time or struggle. And I know it’s stupid because other people have it so much worse. And I have it really good. I have my strengths too. Languages, talking, being an empath, writing and Philosophy. It’s just that sometimes, I tend to be rather hard on myself. And if I don’t succeed at something I try again. I know what my resources are and I try to work on them and with them, rather than focusing on my weaknesses. At least trying. And that’s important. Trying is my way of living. I live after the sentence: How do you know it’s not worth it if you’ve never tried? I believe if you haven’t tried you can’t say whether it’s good or bad for you. So at least try. What’s the worst that can happen? You fail. But is that really such a terrible thing? At least you’ll know that you’ve done something, you’ve tried. And I think that’s more important than failing or succeeding. It can be scary to try something. It could hurt you. But it could also make you really happy. Now the question is, do you want to take that risk? I definitely would. Because I don’t want to regret the choices I have made. And if there’s a choice to be made from which I know that it’s risky but I also know that I’d regret it if I didn’t make it, I definitely choose the risk. The worst thing that could happen would be getting hurt. And that’s scary. But you can recover from the pain. And you will. What you can’t recover from, however, are the choices you didn’t make. You’ll always be left wondering with the question of what would’ve been. And no one will ever answer that question. You’ll be left wondering. I’m always searching for adventures. Still, most of them happen in my head. Speaking of search, I’ve decided not to search for anyone. And I’ve decided to stop waiting. I will just live my life and if someone comes along I’ll take the chance. And I’ll be happy to share my life with someone new. And I’ll fall in love once again. And if I get hurt, I just will. And it I don’t, even better. I’ll just take life as it comes. That’s the best I can do.
Goodnight, Good morning, good afternoon or whatever time it is wherever you’re reading this from.
Have the time of your lives and Live. Love. Be respectful.
Yours,
Gioia