Trains

They take you to places
You never thought you’d be.
They take you where
You need to see

Always moving
Never stopping
Always spinning
Endlessly

But they do end
Don’t they
They break down
They start burning

But broken things
They can be fixed
There’s always
Hope.

We wait
We think
We get up
And we keep on going

They don’t stop.
And if there is
a mistake in the engine
They wait to be fixed with
A new one

Always turning
Never stopping
Always spinning
End once and for all.

I hope you remember to pick yourself up after you’ve fallen. It’s not about winning the fight. It’s about picking yourself up from the ground and then to keep going. This is what is much stronger, much more important. Not giving up and to keep on going. Have a nice evening, night, morning or whatever it is at yours.
Yours truly,
Gioia

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We are what and who we are.

Dear You,
Whoever you may be. This is for you to remember that you are not what people want you to be, you are what and who you are. Too many times people have told us how we’re supposed to act and what we’re supposed to do. Well they might have given you good advice in some ways. But never forget, you are in control of your own life. If someone tells you that you’re doing it all wrong and that you’ll end up getting hurt terribly, screw them. If someone tells you that love will get you a broken heart and that you’ll be shattered in the end, love anyways. These are the choices you have to make on your own. But you’ll never be alone. Don’t you worry. There will always be people to help you and stand by you. But understand, there will be things to face and fight on your own. But I know you’ll get out alive. And you’ll get out stronger than before. Some things will hurt and some things will make you want to end it all but you won’t. Because you’ll always have people to be there for you. And you’ll be who you’ll be. And the others will be who they’ll be. No matter how it turns out it’ll turn out okay. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you’re not okay the way you are. Please don’t. You’re perfect just the way you are. Remember this. Love hard. And always be yourself.

Go Set A Watchman

Dear Readers,
My first book review in months maybe even a year. I don’t remember. Life is getting on so fast. One moment you can’t wait for the next year to start and the next it’s already around Autumn and you realise how fast it has gone by. Can you even catch up? Well you don’t have time to answer that question and next thing you know you’ll be waiting for 2 years to just go by so you’ll finally be in the real world. Today I’m going to tell you about a book which I’m not really sure about. This doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy every word of it. But let’s just say, sometimes change is a hard thing. You have to accept it. As everything in this world. So let’s just start over.

A 26-year-old Scout Finch returns to her hometown Maycomb county. She’s been away for years and at the first glance not much seems to have changed. But nothing’s ever as it seems. Things are different, Jem has already died and Atticus is getting old. But Henry is still there and she loves him, or at least she thinks she does. For a moment everything seems like before. And life seems to get on without any problems. But then she listens in on a meeting. Atticus and Henry both sit there with those people that want to push the segregation to another level. Calpurnias son Zeebo is in trouble and needs a good lawyer, back in the days Atticus would’ve helped without even hesitating for a moment. But now Jean-Louise is not so sure anymore. Childhood doesn’t tell you anything about the unfair and sad truth, full of lies you believe because you don’t even think about them not being true. She keeps having flashbacks from her childhood. Times when she believed that it didn’t make a difference wether you were black or white. Where you were worth equally. Things that her father told her. And she believed that it was his truth. Even Calpurnia sees her as the white person that betrayed her. And her Uncle isn’t helping. Scout feels like the world that she’s known her whole life is falling apart. The people she trusts and loves aren’t the same anymore. She doesn’t know if anything was ever real. But maybe that’s just another lesson life is trying to teach her. Maybe that’s why she went back to Maycomb county. To figure it out by herself. The title of the book isn’t
“Go Set A Watchman” out of coincidence. It’s a phrase out of the Bible where God sends a Watchman to earth to tell him whats going on down there. It says “Go, set a watchman, let him declare what he seeth” And maybe Scout is some sort if a Watchman to tell them that they’ve gotten out of control. Jean Louise might be the one to get them out of that mess.
We need more Jean Louises in this world. We need Atticus Finches to teach this to us in the first place. I really enjoyed this book. It took me quite some time though. The reason for that is, that it starts off right into the Story, they do mention what has happened in the meantime but you get overthrown by the amount of facts. It’s a book everyone should read because it’s, as is To Kill A Mockingbird, a story that imprisons you and forces you to think about society. It forces you to overthink certain views. It teaches you that life is never as it seems and that you have to live with changes and with the passing of time itself. It shows you that you should stand up for your ideas no matter what others say. It shows you a lot of thing about life. And I love how the book jumps between her past and her Now. It brings some dynamic into the story. I really loved this book because it gave me the chance to think again. Read this book and remember an extremely talented and wise woman who died in 2015 aged 89 years. Harper Lee.
Read, live, love, laugh and enjoy life for we’ve only got this one. So think about what you do or what you say, think about the consequences, think of the outcomes. But don’t let what-ifs stop you. They are just as useless as if-only-I-Had. You can’t change the past, and it’s not what all of this is about anyways. Neither can you see the future and control it. You have to live life. And accept the fact that things can change and that they’re not always as they seem at first sight. That’s life. And don’t you dare think you don’t deserve a happy life, because you do. You all do. If there are things that happen that make you think it’s too easy, try not to. I know it’s extremely hard for I can’t even do that one myself. But at least try. Because you deserve those things. Each and everyone of you. Love yourselves, you are wonderful, unique human beings. And please try. I’m begging you to try. Because you deserve the chance to live a fulfilled life. Have a nice evening, morning or night or whatever it is at yours.
Yours sincerely and truly
Gioia

What’s the reason?

Why are we here?
Is there a purpose?
Is there a reason why?
Or are we just here because?

Questions all the time
No answers, no ideas
We’ll never be able to
Answer those Questions

Do we have to answer them?
Or maybe it’s just one of those
Things that just are
without a purpose.

We’ll never be able
to answer those questions.
And yet we ask them everyday
Because it’s just us.
It’s what we’re supposed to do.

We’ll never know why
We’ll never know who
We’ll never know what
We won’t even know when.

It scares us
We’re not in control
And no matter how hard we try
We’re running into a wall so thick
We can’t break it.

We’re just here
And some days it’s
clear like a blue sky
We’re just here to be here.

We’ll never know. But I believe whatever happens we’ll be okay. Because we’re alive and we’re now. So let’s try to live here. Not be sacred about the future and what might happen if, only scares the hell outta us. We should be here. Who knows what’s waiting for us tomorrow. It doesn’t matter. Because we can control today and tomorrow we’ve got another chance. Life is full of second chances. Maybe this is the purpose. For us to find out how to learn from our mistakes. How to live with them. How to live with our choices and with the consequences. To figure out how to live. Maybe, maybe not. We should just live and maybe we’ll find out by just living. Have a nice day.
Carpe Diem. Live! Bye 🙂

Love: Choice or Fate

I do not believe
Do you understand?
I do not believe
I never will

I do not want to
But I already did
I’ve fallen for you
I do not want to

Coincidental fate
I do believe
You’ll bring me there
Coincidental fate
I do believe

Don’t live for no one
Live for life itself
Don’t live for no one
For life will keep you save.

See the stars in the night sky
Infinite. Are they? Or is it just
Lies. Dead stars that we see
years after they’ve died. See them.

We aren’t infinite.
We’ll never be.
But we are more than that
We are alive. Every single moment.

There’s no point
But there doesn’t have to be
Because we are now
There’s no point

Hope you liked this. Yeah. It’s me. Hard to believe I’m still here. Live. And live now. Yesterday doesn’t matter, nor does tomorrow. Only thing that matters is today. So live now and enjoy it.
Yours truly 🙂

Day 9 of Blogmas

Dear Readers,
I know it started 9 days ago but of course I didn’t find out till yesterday. Typical. But it doesn’t matter. Not now anyways. I want this Christmas to be a time to love and a time to forgive. We should learn to forgive each other. But today I want to talk about Christmas. And I want to introduce you to two awesome blogs that are new totally new to the blogosphere. They are awesome and you should definitely follow them. The first one is Jashna. She’s a friend of mine.  And she just started her blog. She’s awesome. One of the kindest persons I’ve ever met. She deserves to be followed and her opinions deserve to be heard. As I told you before there’s a second blog. Her name is Jasmina. She’s a friend of mine as well. And a very good one I’d say. She’s great. And she deserves to be heard as well because she can be funny and wise at the same time. She just takes the people as they are. As well as Jashna does. Follow them. Please. Cause they deserve it. They were brave to take that step. They’re great. As you all are. I’m sorry for not being there the whole time. School’s crazy before Christmas. But I know this isn’t an excuse. So I just hope you don’t hate me now. Because I’m letting you down. As I let down others. But people tell me I’m not letting them down. It’s just these thoughts. Well. I love you all. Give your love to others and they’ll give you theirs. Always try to understand people. Try to be in their shoes. To see their point of view.  I know it’s hard, but it helps. Even though I haven’t accomplished it yet, I hope you will. You deserve to be happy. Always remember that. You deserve to be loved. Don’t hate yourself.  Please. Just know. One day everything will be okay. It’ll be as okay as it can be. And you’ll be happy. Always yours, Gioia.

 

When will I learn from it?

You used to be my everything,
You used to make me full,
You used to make me feel what now
Feels far away and there seems,
No end

I am thankful for what
You gave me.
I am thankful for our
Time.

I used to love you,
You knew I did,
I used to love you,
But that was my version of it
Not yours. Never was. Never will.

It’s been so much time,
And yet my heart didn’t stop,
I’m still alive
But am I really or am I not?

When will I finally see,
The past is gone,
The future is unknown,
And the now is now.

When will I accept,
We were never meant
To be together,
Never meant to love each other.

But deep inside
my heart will know,
It will finally heal,
One day hopefully.

2nd Chapter of a Story

Dear Readers,

It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything of my story. I promised you that there would be more of it. If you haven’t read the first part of it click the Link. Now you know which one. I hope you’re all doing great. And that you are happy. Let’s start with it.

**2**
All I remembered was Jason being at my house and saying he was sorry for doing what he had done to black me out. Then there was nothing but unconsciousness. That nice feeling of sleeping. Without dreaming. I wanted to sit up but as I tried to, everything hurt. Where the hell was I? I was confused, angry and ,weirdly, kinda curious. I tried to sit up again. First I felt dizzy but I managed to do it though. Suddenly there was a noise coming from the door. A lock was turned around. The door opened. There was a women standing there, maybe in her late thirties, smiling at me in a sympathetic way. But something about her was strange. ” So, you finally woke up. That’s good. We already thought Jason had performed it too strong. ‘ she said. All I could do was nod.” How are you feeling?”, she asked. “My head hurts and I’m dizzy.” “It’ll pass, it’s all normal in the beginning” she replied. “Where am I?” I had to know it. Not that anyone cared but I had to be sure I could contol it. And that I was save. ” Oh don’t worry you’ll know that very soon. Now stand up and follow me.”, she said in a voice that told me if I didn’t do as she wanted I’d be in deep trouble. I didn’t stand up though. The expression on her face told me that she didn’t like that. Why should I trust her. I didn’t know her. I didn’t know where I was. I didn’t know anything at all.” Now listen to me carefully. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. You choose. But I tell you now that if you choose the hard version of it you’ll regret it every day of your following life.”, she whispered. Oh no, I wasn’t giving up so easily. Not me. I’d rather kill myself than to do what she wanted me to. She couldn’t force me. No one could. But what I didn’t know that moment back then. They could. I remained calm on the bed.
” Now!” , she screamed at me.” You chose. But I promise you that you will regret that decision.” At first nothing happened. And I already thought she had just been talking. Next moment three men came and took me. I tried to get out of their grasps. But as hard as I tried I couldn’t free myself. Then I felt a stinging pain in my arm. Everything began to turn around and I felt myself being pulled back into that wonderful, black nothingness. As I woke up again the first thing I saw was a white ceiling. I wanted to move but I couldn’t. That was when I realized I was strapped to a table at my feet, my wrists and my neck.
Everything hurt. And it felt like there was a fire burning me. I scanned the room I was in. It looked like some labour or a doctors office. Everything was white and sterile. ” Good, you’re awake” a voice I could recognize from the bitch that had called these men. “You can cooperate with us or you can continue the program. I just tell you that the program will include much pain. More pain than your feelings now. If you do cooperate you’d make it much easier. For yourself and for us.” I didn’t know what to say. This sounded like my favourite books and movies together. With the exception that there was always a known ending. And now I didn’t know anything. I could be stubborn and keep doing what I wanted. Or I could give up and do what they told me. But I’d rather have killed myself than giving up. So I went for the first one. What I didn’t know back then, there were things far worse than death. I took a deep breath and said : ” I’d never cooperate with you. Rather would I die than to give up.” I had to admit that I was scared. Just a little bit. But I’d welcome my fate with a smile. That was better than a scared little girl. ” So you’ve made your choice. A rather stupid one if you’d ask me but you had the choice,” she turned away and said to someone else in the room,” contiInue the program.” I had thought I’d get away from that table. But how dumb could a stubborn 17 year-old be. Especially one that didn’t know them. It started with another injection. That wasn’t painful. But the aftermath of it was. It started that I couldn’t breathe. I was feeling my arms and legs go numb. The fire was there again. And it was worse than before. If that was even possible. Tears were streaming. Pain started to sink in. It was getting to the point where I was losing consciousness again. And for a few minutes I was stuck between unbearable pain and feeling nothing at all. Then was out cold. When I woke up again I was in my cell. I didn’t even dare to stand up. I heard the sound of a turning lock. A 100 percent aware that this could mean more pain. But I couldn’t fight them, that was what I knew. The door opened and the face I saw was nothing different than that beautiful smile of Jason. In a way his face was the only one I wanted to see. However he was the one who had brought me here in the first place. Wherever here was. ” Hey, I’ve got you something to eat. You need it. To get through the program.” He really dared to say that. ” Why would I trust you who got me in here? You could easily give me poison in that food and kill me.” You know that I wouldn’t do that Ashley and I am disappointed by you thinking these things.” Oh yeah. Why would I think such things of you. Lemme guess, maybe because you blacked me out, got me into that damn place and asked me why I was angry!” I was now shouting. As much as possible at least.” See, I didn’t want you to experience this. They left me no choice. I had to. But I tell you one thing. If you weren’t that stubborn it wouldn’t hurt that much. I know you don’t want give up and that’s strong. But this is going nowhere.”

So I hope you enjoyed that one. See you soon. Bye. Have a nice day, night or whatever.

Ps:  let me know in the comments if you want more.

She’s falling

Don’t you see

She’s falling

Don’t you hear her

She’s screaming

 

She’s falling

She’s trying to

Get a hold of

Something solid

 

But her hands

Can’t seem to reach

It, because there’s

Nothing left to hold

 

Her everything is

Gone forever, there’s

No turning back

Not now, not tomorrow

 

I want to keep

her from falling

But I can’t

I won’t stop her.

 

 

Obsessed

Obsessed we are
With every little thing
Obsessed we are
With the thought
Of a long life

Obsessed she is
With the thought
That he is hers
Obsessed she is
With him and his voice

Obsessed he is
With no one but himself
Obsessed he is
With his beauty
And his world

Obsessed I am
I cannot let him go
Obsessed I am
The problem is
I can’t go with the flow.

Obsessed they are
With silver and with gold
Obsessed they are
With glory and with might

Obsessed it was
With nothing but real love
Obsessed it was
With peace and inner beauty

Thanks for reading. I know I haven’t been writing lately, but I thought I might just do it now. The title of this poem is taken from the Daily Post one word prompt. I hope you like it. And I hope you are all alright. Bye and have a nice day, night or whatever.