I’ll say sorry first off for this ramble about my life. I just need to get my feelings out. So please don’t judge me for that. I’ve seen others of you doing that often and I think it’s good.
I am so disappointed and sad about my grades that I could just hide under my blanket and cry my soul out. Of course that’s not what I do. I just go on and do stuff. I revise good for those exams. And I can’t do more than revising. And seriously what am I supposed to do. I don’t know. Sometimes I am a bit of a procrastinator and I am not proud of it. But I really do learn and revise for that stuff believe me. Even when I don’t like the subject. I am so angry at myself because I get one hit after another. You know what I mean with hit. Like the feeling you have when you get a bad exam back. Like a punch in your gut. And it’s not a soft punch. That really scares me. I am scared that the teachers will tell me I am not good enough and can’t continue High School. And that’s possible in our country. Yes it is. And I am scared that I am screwed. Well that’s going on in my life right now. Just a small thing.
I hope that. But it’s not. And if that wouldn’t be enough I don’t understand guys. Well one in particular. The one. And well I kinda don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s my first time I have that experience. And I love it but at the sam time I hate it. Well I hate that I just have to live it without thinking about the what ifs. I almost can’t do that. What the hell is going on? I have problems with trusting people and I know that doesn’t make it better. Do you guys have any suggestions about the trusting thing? I have none. Well thank you for reading it through. And I would be so helped if you could give me advice about that. I don’t know what to do. And I hate when I can’t be sure. I know that sounds crazy because life isn’t sure. And it sounds as if I don’t like life but that’s not true. I love my life. It’s just a little messed up right now. But that’s okay. Or so I guess. Thank you all.
Bye and have a nice day or night or whatever.