I’m so done with it

Dear Readers,
I’ll say sorry first off for this ramble about my life. I just need to get my feelings out. So please don’t judge me for that. I’ve seen others of you doing that often and I think it’s good.
I am so disappointed and sad about my grades that I could just hide under my blanket and cry my soul out. Of course that’s not what I do. I just go on and do stuff. I revise good for those exams. And I can’t do more than revising. And seriously what am I supposed to do. I don’t know. Sometimes I am a bit of a procrastinator and I am not proud of it. But I really do learn and revise for that stuff believe me. Even when I don’t like the subject. I am so angry at myself because I get one hit after another. You know what I mean with hit. Like the feeling you have when you get a bad exam back. Like a punch in your gut. And it’s not a soft punch. That really scares me. I am scared that the teachers will tell me I am not good enough and can’t continue High School. And that’s possible in our country. Yes it is. And I am scared that I am screwed. Well that’s going on in my life right now. Just a small thing.
I hope that. But it’s not. And if that wouldn’t be enough I don’t understand guys. Well one in particular. The one. And well I kinda don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s my first time I have that experience. And I love it but at the sam time I hate it. Well I hate that I just have to live it without thinking about the what ifs. I almost can’t do that. What the hell is going on? I have problems with trusting people and I know that doesn’t make it better. Do you guys have any suggestions about the trusting thing? I have none. Well thank you for reading it through. And I would be so helped if you could give me advice about that. I don’t know what to do. And I hate when I can’t be sure. I know that sounds crazy because life isn’t sure. And it sounds as if I don’t like life but that’s not true. I love my life. It’s just a little messed up right now. But that’s okay. Or so I guess. Thank you all.
Bye and have a nice day or night or whatever.

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10 thoughts on “I’m so done with it

  1. Hey, I understand. But you’re doing as much as you can: you’re revising, you’re putting the effort in, and that’s the most you can do, and you should be proud of yourself for that. As for guys? They can be so confusing, and I get that. Just go along with things, and be as happy as you can be.

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  2. Hey! It’s okay. You’re doing as much as you can. Keep giving it your best and you’ll do fine. Don’t get so stressed out. You will be okay. And I understand the thing about not being able to trust people easy. Opening up and making yourself vulnerable to other people is scary but sometimes it’s worth it! Take care and you can email me if you ever want to talk! xx

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    • Oh dear DayDreamer52,
      Thank you so much for your advice. And yeah I’ll try to give my best for now and for the time being. I just hope I can. Because what if. Well anyways thank you. And you really helped me with that guy thingy. Yeah you really did. About trust, sometimes it’s worth it you said. But how do I know who I can trust and who not? The thing is I don’t know. And it’s horrible to not know that. Because I can’t be sure. He could just be pretending what he’s feeling and what if that’s the case? I don’t know if I could handle it. Well I guess it’s okay to worry that much. Sorry about telling you all those things and annoying you with it. Well thanks again. Bye

      Liked by 1 person

      • You’re not annoying me at all! I love to talk to you, relax! And the thing is, I personally feel that if you really like someone, it’s worth the risk of opening up to them. I f it doesn’t work out then yes, it will hurt a lot but at least you won’t feel like you didn’t give it your all! All the best and you can talk to me whenever! Take care xx

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      • Oh thank you. Well I try to take care of myself. My biggest fear is that he walks up to me and tells me all of it was a big Joke and that he’s feeling nothing for me. I know that it possibly won’t happen but in the end there is a possibility and that’s driving me crazy. Yeah it does. And the ignoring of his side does too. I don’t like that. But he keeps doing it. And I don’t dare saying him that. I’d rather keep my mouth shut for one day and I am very talkative so that means something. Well I hope you are good and good luck for Graduation. Well done. You can be proud. Really. Bye

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      • I talked and it helped. It was good. Now he knows it. He didn’t notice it himself so he kinda thanked me for that. Oh my I’m so lucky. Well don’t thank me. You don’t need to. It is what I mean. Just being honest. Just being me. Well. Bye I guess

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